Your tears are getting in the way of my cybersex.

Let’s talk business.
 
Wait, not that kind of business!

The thing I like about religion is how it brings us all together.
 
I mean, just look at Iraq.
 

Your roomate called you ridiculous? Evict him!
 
That’ll show he’s wrong.

I dump guys who don’t call too.
 
But they’re never, ever allowed to get over it. Ever.

I didn’t hack you, I just read your chat logs.
 
That’s cool, right?

This was a “high-priority,” company wide message from management about our kitchenette.

I just don’t know why they had to bring Mom into it.

This is from our company accountant, concerning work requests.

This would be funnier if he was actually black.

This guy from chat was always bugging me to send him naked pics.
 
I think his name was Mark Foley… or Larry Craig… something republican.